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What was it?

I once knew what I wanted.
I knew the path, each curve and bend;
I knew each step along the way,
And where the path would end

I had plans to get me there ,
Knew when to fight and when to flee.
But the path, it left me long ago,
All that remains here now is me.

I was set to sail my ship
Beyond the sunset and the stars,
but I am no longer captain,
and my old course seems so far.

Loki now commands my ship,
And sails it as he pleases,
Through random situations,
So that chaos never ceases.

I knew the answers to it all:
Life the universe and everything.
But, since the question slipped my mind,
The answer isn't worth a thing.

I've decided that the only way
For us to make Gods laugh.
Is to make a plan and try through trial
To make it come to pass.

We all know what they say about
"The best laid plans of mice and men,"
I just wish my plans could have
A chance outside my head.

I wish I could remember,
from the times it seemed so clear,
for what it was that I was searching,
and just why it seemed so near.

I wish I knew how to find,
the way back where I belong,
but i'm not sure I ever will,
I think it's been too long.